I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and exhausted lately. I haven't really been doing much, but I can't seem to get myself together. I think it is the allergy season. It has completely knocked my on my arse. I have so much I want and need to do, but most days I can't drag myself off of the couch, and have trouble just lifting my arms. I'm currently stuck in a migraine stupor, which isn't really helping. Yet, I can't sleep.
Also, I want pizza, and not that frozen gluten free crap. I want Pizza Place pizza! I could really go for my favorite deli sandwich, too.
These are the moments I long to be normal.
Showing posts with label hunger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hunger. Show all posts
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Rethinking Silk
In breaks between cleaning up things that come out of cats, I've been thinking about what kind of vegetarian I want to be. I call myself an environmental vegetarian, but in reality I'm an accidental vegetarian. I never intended to go veggie permanently, it just kind of happened. In fact, I never thought I could be vegetarian, I live in a small town in West Virginia, procuring vegetarian options seemed impossible. For health and environmental reasons, I needed to cut back on the amount of meat I was consuming, especially of the processed variety. I tried, and it didn't work. So, I decided to do kind of a meat detox, to go a period without it, then add healthier (for me and the planet) alternatives back in, slowly. I've yet to start adding things back in almost two years later. In fact, I seem to be taking more away.
In my first week sans meat, I accidentally ate bacon bits on a salad without thinking about it. I doubt they were real bacon, but the point is that I wasn't paying attention. Or, that I was, but there was too much information, too much change, for me to get it right. By get it right, I mean by my own standards. I don't think being vegetarian makes me accountable to other vegetarians, or other people at all, really. But, I am accountable to myself, which means my habits must evolve with my morality, which must evolve with my increased knowledge and fortitude. The basic formula seems to be, the more I know, the less I eat or buy.
In my first week sans meat, I accidentally ate bacon bits on a salad without thinking about it. I doubt they were real bacon, but the point is that I wasn't paying attention. Or, that I was, but there was too much information, too much change, for me to get it right. By get it right, I mean by my own standards. I don't think being vegetarian makes me accountable to other vegetarians, or other people at all, really. But, I am accountable to myself, which means my habits must evolve with my morality, which must evolve with my increased knowledge and fortitude. The basic formula seems to be, the more I know, the less I eat or buy.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sweet Potato and Three Bean Tacos
A Quasi-Recipe
Ingredients
one large-ish sweet potato (mine was old and flavorless)
a few tablespoons of coconut butter
a bit of canola oil
one 15 oz can of beans, three bean blend (pinto,black, and kidney)
8 oz of pineapple tidbits in natural juice
key lime juice
red pepper flakes
cumin
parsley
small clove of garlic, minced
ground ginger
cilantro
balsamic vinegar
kosher salt
tortillas (wheat or corn)
Greek yogurt
feta cheese, crumbled
Monday, February 21, 2011
Fat
As much as I try to be a good fat acceptance-y type person, I struggle with it. I truly believe that being fat, just as being thin, is simply a state of being. It's just the way some people are. I am intrigued by the variations produced with only tiny changes in our genetic makeup; it is something we should celebrate, because it is really pretty amazing.
While I am quick with the rhetoric, I am unable to accept my own body. Which makes me a bit of a hypocrite, well, a massive hypocrite, actually. I want desperately to be one of those people who truly loves her body, but have no idea how to get there. I have never considered myself pretty, or even average. I am somewhere between plain and slightly grotesque. According to every magazine I've ever read, confidence is the sexiest thing any human being could posses. But, that one little line thrown in every couple of months does not make up for the avalanche of perfection thrown in my face everyday, and the smug and disgusted attitudes that insure I know that it is complete crap; nothing more than a patronizing parting line thrown to a pathetic loser searching desperately for validation.
While I am quick with the rhetoric, I am unable to accept my own body. Which makes me a bit of a hypocrite, well, a massive hypocrite, actually. I want desperately to be one of those people who truly loves her body, but have no idea how to get there. I have never considered myself pretty, or even average. I am somewhere between plain and slightly grotesque. According to every magazine I've ever read, confidence is the sexiest thing any human being could posses. But, that one little line thrown in every couple of months does not make up for the avalanche of perfection thrown in my face everyday, and the smug and disgusted attitudes that insure I know that it is complete crap; nothing more than a patronizing parting line thrown to a pathetic loser searching desperately for validation.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Not A Hypocrite
I am a vegetarian who wears leather, therefore, I am called a hypocrite. The people who say this seem to misunderstand either vegetarianism or hypocrisy. There are no rules to vegetarianism, it is just a catch all label for people who do not, under certain circumstances, consume meat. People who call themselves vegetarians have all made different decisions, for different reasons, about what they will and will not eat. Some consume fish, some eat eggs, milk, or animal by-products, and others still consume meat on rare occasions, but all of them can be labeled as vegetarian. Personally, I've found it to be the easiest way to convey to people that I may be inspecting my food, and questioning the ingredient list.
A proselytizing vegan who wears leather may be considered a hypocrite, but a person practicing her own brand of vegetarianism, while minding her own business... well, that's not a hypocrite, that is a person living her life while making personal judgments. Hypocrisy includes a note of dishonesty or disingenuousness. Since there are no set rules to vegetarianism, the vegetarian in question would have to define rules, then go against them, to be a hypocrite.
Someone claiming to be a vegetarian for animal rights reasons, but who sports leather, feathers, or fur is likely a hypocrite, but those items could be from his pre-veggie days, or vintage items, or gifts from well meaning loved ones, or any of a hundred other scenarios. With such a complex, and personal issue, it is difficult to accurately call someone a hypocrite, not impossible, but there will likely be a high level of error on snap judgments. But, that's pretty universal, isn't it Mrs. Darcy.
A proselytizing vegan who wears leather may be considered a hypocrite, but a person practicing her own brand of vegetarianism, while minding her own business... well, that's not a hypocrite, that is a person living her life while making personal judgments. Hypocrisy includes a note of dishonesty or disingenuousness. Since there are no set rules to vegetarianism, the vegetarian in question would have to define rules, then go against them, to be a hypocrite.
Someone claiming to be a vegetarian for animal rights reasons, but who sports leather, feathers, or fur is likely a hypocrite, but those items could be from his pre-veggie days, or vintage items, or gifts from well meaning loved ones, or any of a hundred other scenarios. With such a complex, and personal issue, it is difficult to accurately call someone a hypocrite, not impossible, but there will likely be a high level of error on snap judgments. But, that's pretty universal, isn't it Mrs. Darcy.
Friday, January 28, 2011
C is for Cookie
My cookie craving still not satiated, I decided to get baking. I thought I'd jot down the recipe, while I'm digesting the dozen or so samples I scarfed, and before I slip into a sugar induced coma.
These cookies are a buttermilk base, with green tea, ginger, and honey. They are very light, moist, and cake-like. Green tea and lemon/buttermilk add a great sour note, and a very light glaze keeps them from being overly sweet (which means I can eat a gazillion of them). I made this up as I was going, so they haven't really been tested, but I love them already, and don't want to forget what I did.
Stuff
Cookies
1/3 cup buttermilk (or 1 tsp lemon juice and enough milk to total 1/3 cup)
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon powdered ginger
3/4 stick unsalted butter (softened, or not, if you find it difficult to plan ahead)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup honey (I used raw)
1 large egg (or 1/4 cup Egg beaters)
1 teaspoon lemon juice
Glaze
1 bag of green tea
1/4-1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1-2 tablespoons of honey
1/2 teaspoon corn starch
These cookies are a buttermilk base, with green tea, ginger, and honey. They are very light, moist, and cake-like. Green tea and lemon/buttermilk add a great sour note, and a very light glaze keeps them from being overly sweet (which means I can eat a gazillion of them). I made this up as I was going, so they haven't really been tested, but I love them already, and don't want to forget what I did.
Green Tea Buttermilk Cookies
Adapted from Gourmet, January 2008
I'm not sure how many cookies this yields, as I ate some along the way. Oops.
Stuff
Cookies
1/3 cup buttermilk (or 1 tsp lemon juice and enough milk to total 1/3 cup)
2 bags of green tea (I use Celestial Seasonings)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon powdered ginger
3/4 stick unsalted butter (softened, or not, if you find it difficult to plan ahead)
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup honey (I used raw)
1 large egg (or 1/4 cup Egg beaters)
1 teaspoon lemon juice
Glaze
1 bag of green tea
1/4-1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1-2 tablespoons of honey
1/2 teaspoon corn starch
Monday, January 24, 2011
From the Tube
For most of my life, I have been on some form of antihistamine and decongestant. My allergies are epic. Recently, however, I decided to stop taking the decongestant. The reasoning behind this maneuver is a bit muddled and long-winded. The important parts are that I stopped taking it and that I am now able to sleep for several hours a night/day (like I'm a person!) and I have had lots of sinus drainage that is filling my digestive tract. Yummy.
Because of the copious amount of snot, I don't feel hungry, ever. This has been a problem all of my life. Everytime someone says some variation of "I only eat when I'm hungry," with the requisite accompaniment of pretentious snobbery, I secretly hope they get to experience my lack of appetite some day. Several times a week, I become light headed and weak, because I haven't eaten enough. Not that I don't want to eat, but that I just don't feel like it. I often just forget to eat. And, when I remember, it is hard to find something I can force down. My relationship with food is much like that of someone looking at a dessert menu at a restaurant with giant portions; I want to have something, but I'm just too full.
So, when I do feel like eating, I more than make up for the lean times. (My grandma would be sure to point out that I've never been lean, and that I should probably have used a different word. It's amazing I don't have more issues, really.) Tonight, for example, I had an incredibly strong craving for cookie dough. A monstrous craving that would not be subsided with cookie dough ice cream or chocolate chips -not that I had either- it was of the specific and unyielding variety. Since I did not have the ingredients to make cookie dough, I decided that I must run to Wal-Mart to acquire them immediately. I had to go to Wal-Mart, because this particular craving hit me at about 2 AM. It is well below freezing, and a 20 minute drive one way, but, I reasoned, I also needed ink for the printer, and I was completely out of vinegar. Mika (see below) had just peed on the closet door, and I needed the vinegar to clean it up.
Because of the copious amount of snot, I don't feel hungry, ever. This has been a problem all of my life. Everytime someone says some variation of "I only eat when I'm hungry," with the requisite accompaniment of pretentious snobbery, I secretly hope they get to experience my lack of appetite some day. Several times a week, I become light headed and weak, because I haven't eaten enough. Not that I don't want to eat, but that I just don't feel like it. I often just forget to eat. And, when I remember, it is hard to find something I can force down. My relationship with food is much like that of someone looking at a dessert menu at a restaurant with giant portions; I want to have something, but I'm just too full.
So, when I do feel like eating, I more than make up for the lean times. (My grandma would be sure to point out that I've never been lean, and that I should probably have used a different word. It's amazing I don't have more issues, really.) Tonight, for example, I had an incredibly strong craving for cookie dough. A monstrous craving that would not be subsided with cookie dough ice cream or chocolate chips -not that I had either- it was of the specific and unyielding variety. Since I did not have the ingredients to make cookie dough, I decided that I must run to Wal-Mart to acquire them immediately. I had to go to Wal-Mart, because this particular craving hit me at about 2 AM. It is well below freezing, and a 20 minute drive one way, but, I reasoned, I also needed ink for the printer, and I was completely out of vinegar. Mika (see below) had just peed on the closet door, and I needed the vinegar to clean it up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)