Fat

As much as I try to be a good fat acceptance-y type person, I struggle with it. I truly believe that being fat, just as being thin, is simply a state of being. It's just the way some people are. I am intrigued by the variations produced with only tiny changes in our genetic makeup; it is something we should celebrate, because it is really pretty amazing.

While I am quick with the rhetoric,  I am unable to accept my own body. Which makes me a bit of a hypocrite, well, a massive hypocrite, actually. I want desperately to be one of those people who truly loves her body, but have no idea how to get there. I have never considered myself pretty, or even average. I am somewhere between plain and slightly grotesque. According to every magazine I've ever read, confidence is the sexiest thing any human being could posses. But, that one little line thrown in every couple of months does not make up for the avalanche of perfection thrown in my face everyday, and the smug and disgusted attitudes that insure I know that it is complete crap; nothing more than a patronizing parting line thrown to a pathetic loser searching desperately for validation.